Monday, December 20, 2010

Murphy's Law

Unwilling to give up my morning coffee stop at Sheetz, I have been cleverly carrying a small tupperware container of soy coffee cream with me in my purse.  This Monday morning, I got my coffee as usual, but when I tried to open it in the car, the damn tupperware lid was vacuumed shut.  I tried opening it from all different angles and started to get flustered because the clock was ticking and I was already running late.  In a moment of desperation, I tugged at the lid with all my might and the entire contents flew all over my jacket, my pants...soaking through to my underwear.  As I began hysterically screaming "why me"  like Nancy Kerrigan circa 1994, I caught a glimse at myself in the rearview mirror.  I had soy creamer stuck on my eyebrows.  That was my low.  I was really glad I thought ahead to bring enough for my afternoon coffee as well.  Sitting in my wet seat all the way to school where I teach, I had a developed quite a mean, urine looking stain and soy swamp ass.  As I walked through the crowded eighth grade hallway with no cover since my jacket was soaking wet, I couldn't help but think how this could have been avoided if I drank normal cream.

Carnivores-1  Vegans-0 

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